WHAT NOT TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR :

1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people,but push the wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close,and say, "Hi Gregg. How's your day been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream,"That's mine!"
7)Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone,gets on, ask if they have an apointment.
9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on,ask them if they can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13)Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.
17) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering,
18) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
19) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
20) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your
one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
21) Wear a your hand and use it to talk to the other passeng
22) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.(because u always have yrs with u?!!)
23) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
24) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "I have new socks on".
25) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
theother passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"
26) Walk in and don't turn around

THINGS NOT TO DO IN A SHOP

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking. 02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals 03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet. 04. Walk up to an employee and tell him?her in an official tone: Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens. 05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit. 06. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding Department. 08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose. 10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. 12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices again!!!" And last but not least: 14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."